So as you've all heard from the radio, TV, magazine ads, movie theaters, annoying classmates, classmates, buses, signs, billboards, bubblegum cards, mail owls, fascist dictators, dragons made of raisin bread, etc....New Moon is upon us. Brace yourselves but it's TOO LATE because it's already here and I saw it. Here's what I thought.

It's a Twatlight movie. Go read a Wikipedia summary because I don't feel like regurgitating the terribad plot.

The movie isn't important though. It's how I saw it that was important. So I went to the midnight release for one reason and one reason only. To ruin it. I brought my gear: phone, laser pointer, Iggy keychain, Griever necklace, bottle of Dr. Pepper since movie drinks are expensive, and my hardback copy of Dracula for protection. So I went in, grabbed a front more so seat, and once the movie started, the plan commenced. I was loud, obnoxious, bothersome, disruptive, annoying, disrespectful, obscene, irking, saccharin, and any other synonym for irritating all on purpose. Pointed my lazer pointer at the screen, texted and called someone during the flick, ate and drank loudly, ate loud candy, yelled, and all sorts of stuff. It was so worth the eight dollars and popcorn cost. The fools inside were so mad. They were just seething with anger, steam literally came out out of their ears. Luckily the combined powers of Iggy, Brahm Stoker, and a bright red LED light kept them at bay. The best part was that I didn't get kicked out. The theater staff must have supported me xD


ANYWAY, ON TO COMMUNISM...err...THE STORY
So in order to really get this story, you must deal with a US History lesson real quick. It'll be quick and painless so bear with me

In the late 1890's-ish times during the Gilded Age, most farmers along the Great Plains were all pretty poor. To make matters worse, the depression of 1893 comes around and it's the worst one EVARRR. Manufacturing, the economy, EVERYTHING just stiffens up and shuts down. People starving and dying everywhere. Gold was wanted as the major currency but gold was so rare that currency was so hard to do. The standards of gold were outrageous. Of course, silver was in huge abundance so just making a change for free silver and changing the currency would make everything better! But that doesn't happen. The major things these farmers blame for their poverty are the railroads, eastern finance capitalists, and the western cities. The railroad is owned by the local community and so they can charge whatever they want to ship products which is always however much money said farmer has. The financiers in the East are the ones who have all of their money and pretty much made their debt, taking their houses and what not. The farmer children don't want to be poor farmers and so they leave for the cities over in California and such. The parents curse the cities as places of gangs, violence, alcoholism, and prostitution so those are Devil Cities Meanwhile in the midst of all this, the North is relatively good and remains neutral. After all, neutral may not help but it doesn't hurt right? Out of all this emerges the Populist Party which wants to help them. The biggest change they want is to make the railroads owned by the government.....that's SOCIALIST. There's socialism going on before socialism existed here. So the Populist candidate for three tries is W.J. Bryan who fails all three times. Finally, the Republican candidate of William McKinley is elected. How? By doing the Brobama tactic before Brobama was a black a president was even a thought. He promised EVERYTHING to EVERYONE.


ANYWAY, during this time, Lyman Frank Baum wrote his famous novel, The Wizard of Oz. What's better is that Baum is a Populist/Socialist supporter even though he denied it so he wouldn't be hated. Anyway, the book that's turned into the movie we've all grown up with for so long is actually a BIG PIECE OF SOCIALIST SYMBOLISM. Stephen Colbert would have a field day with this. So, where to begin? Yes...Dorothy. So Dorothy is this poor Kansas (GREAT PLAINS) girl who's stuck on the FARM until a tornado comes up and whisks her away to Oz. When she arrives, the HOUSE falls on the Wicked Witch of the EAST. Soon after, the Good Witch of the NORTH gives Dorothy the slippers and tells her to follow the Yellow (GOLD) Brick Road. Along the way, she meets the Scarecrow who needs a BRAIN, a Tinman that needed the oil to move or else he would STIFFEN UP AND STOP who also needs a heart, and a Lion who needs COURAGE. On the way to the Emerald City, they are confronted by the Wicked Witch of the WEST who they eventually defeat. They finally meet the Wizard of OZ who promises them all EVERYTHING.
Minor plot errors but I'm in a rush. So, notice similarities with the caps. Here's my recap

Dorothyoor farmer
Scarecrow=the brains the farmers need in order to make the changes they want
Tin Manepression of 1893 (manufacturing stiffening up and stopping)
Lion=W.J. Bryan who the farmers want to have courage so he'll run for prez again
Yellow Brick Road=the Gold Standard (road made entirely of gold)
W. Witch of the East=Eastern Financers (house falls on, bringer of their troubles)
W. Witch of the West=Western Cities (just plain evil, stopping farmer efforts)
Good Witch of the North=The North (Not evil)
Wizard of Oz=W/ McKinley (Promising everything to everyone)

And now for the kicker. In the book, what made everything for Dorothy better and sent her home where it was all great? That's right, the ruby slippers. Now go back to our lesson and remember what would solve the farmer's problems...silver.
Now, get this.
In the movie, Dorothy's slippers were changed to ruby for Hollywood plus they looked better in technicolor. You know what they were in the book?
....Silver. Yep. The silver slippers solved everything.


So, in short, Oz is in fact a big fat populist socialist reference in book form. And since socialism is pre-communism, I guess Russia, China, and Korea must be pretty fond of it.


So that's your story. Feel free to tell your folks on Turkey Day. I have a whole chart of all that but it's not like Ima upload it or anything....or will I? Nah, probably not.


Man, I can't wait for the break. My county sucks and we get two days of school still B| And during the break I have to make a car thingy for Physics and a mythical animal documentary in German II which means no cosplay work time >n>


EDIT - yeah, that Calvin and Hobbes skin didn't look quite how I hoped :c That's a shame. Oh well, back to Ivan and Matthew